Now that the presidential race is heating up, Fox News has restarted candidate roulette. Every Friday, their panel puts money down on who they think will be the Democratic candidate.
In this, probably my last column, I thought it would be fun to do the same. Obviously, I will not be around to see how accurate I am, but conjuring with different results amuses me.
So, let me begin with the big news: I’m convinced that Donald Trump will win reelection. Part of this is my wishful thinking in that I believe the opposition would be a disaster. What is more, I believe he deserves to win. He has done a far better job as president than I ever imagined.
So, let me turn to the pygmies who want to take him down. Not one of them has presidential timbre. They have ambition, arrogance and little else.
Joe Biden has to be the first on the list. He really is Sleepy Joe. Throughout his long career, he has achieved almost nothing. About the only thing going for him is that he is a genuinely friendly person.
What will really bring him down if he gets the nomination is the corruption associated with his son. I believe there really was double dealing with respect to China and the Ukraine. If so, it will be impossible to suppress.
Next comes Bernie Sanders. He is old news. Worse than that, he is old socialist news. And if there is something even worse, it is angry old socialist news. In short, Bernie is no fun anymore.
Next comes Elizabeth Warren. Let me be blunt. I hate dear old Elizabeth. She is one of the meanest people to engage in national politics. And this meanness will have an ever-sharper point as her ridiculous ideas are exposed.
Elizabeth says that she believes in capitalism. But she hates every capitalist she has ever met. As they say, with friends like this, who needs enemies? Should she ever get into the White House, both our economy and our democracy are doomed.
After this comes Kamala Harris. Once I thought she was a serious prospect. It has become increasingly evident that her policy ideas have been cobbled together strictly for effect. In essence, she has no center.
But what really decided me was the way she has responded under stress. She gives out a little girly laugh. I simply cannot imagine that this is what Americans are seeking as president.
After this comes Pete Buttigieg. I almost want to call him Little Boy Blue. He is blowing his horn but with each discordant note, he demonstrates how emotionally immature he is. Sure, he is smart, but we need a president who is a grown up.
I am going to say something about Kirsten Gillibrand, not because many people think she is a viable candidate, but because she is such an absurdity. This is a woman who should have reached her highest political level as vice president of her high school student government. If she is a champion of womanhood, then Chairman Mao was a champion of human kindness.
Gillibrand is a first-class opportunist, but Corey Booker is giving her a run for her money. He too seems to switch to cute slogans in order to gain attention. I’m repeating myself- but where is his center? Personally, I hate suck-ups.
Bill DeBlasio has been an object of derision ever since he was first elected mayor of NYC. Nevertheless, he seems determined to outdo himself. I am not the first person to call him a socialist clown and yet he seems determined to make everyone in the nation come to the same conclusion.
As for Amy Klobuchar, I like her. I think she is a nice and sincere person. I further believe she is doing a decent job as senator from Minnesota. Unfortunately, that does not make her presidential material. Has anyone seen the strength required of a president in her recent presentations?
As I contemplate the next candidate, I want to laugh out loud. Our fairy godmother from the yoga universe, Marianne Williamson has grit if nothing else. As proof, if any is needed that the Democratic pursuit of the presidency has descended into low comedy. Next somebody will be nominating Minnie Mouse for president.
Several have decided to push the environmental button. As we approach the impending elections it will become ever clearer that the Earth is not about to explode. Yes, we need to do something about the environment, but destroying our economy and our way of life is not the answer.
For example, Andrew Yang says we need to get to higher ground — the oceans are rising, the oceans are rising! But oh, I forgot — it is the insanity that is rising. If the American public could just calm down, they would see how ridiculous this is. By the way, who is Yang, anyway?
This is only half of the announced candidates, the other dozen or so 1 percent-ers richly deserve their elevated ranking. Whether they are talking about education or opening up our borders, or claiming that our economy is totally unfair, they cannot make a case if they depend on facts.
My dear fellow Americans, electing a president is not a game show. We all know from whence Trump came, nevertheless, he had real achievements before he became president. None of the members of the Democratic vaudeville acts can say the same. Bring back Hillary Clinton!